Not Enough
by lishabird
Summary: So save your breath, i will not hear. I think i made it very clear. You couldnt hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough? I only wish you werent my friend, then i could hurt you in the end. The song SNUFF belong to Slipknot.


_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize from Harry Potter, or the song SNUFF by Slipknot.**_

A/n Please review and tell me what you think.. this is only the second oneshot i have ever made, and i worked hard on it. Please be nice. Anywho thanks to all who read ^_^

_**(Bury all your secrets in my skin  
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins  
The air around me still feels like a cage  
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...)**_

She used to tell me everything. we could sit in my lab and brew for hours on end. I could tell her about my past and she wouldn't judge, she didn't mind the reasons I became a death eater. She found me witty, and she loved my sarcasm..

Until I would get angry…

One time I called her a slut for sleeping with Ronald Weasley. She didn't take that very well.. then again I could have been more subtle about my jealousy. She tried to defend herself, saying that she had done it for love.. And I wouldn't listen..

_**(So if you love me, let me go.  
And run away before I know.  
My heart is just too dark to care.  
I can't destroy what isn't there.  
Deliver me into my fate -  
If I'm alone I cannot hate  
I don't deserve to have you...  
My smile was taken long ago  
If I can change I hope I never know)**_

I hurt her horribly the night we made love.. I accused her of using me. She was so angry.. but how I loved the flash of fire I saw in her eyes. Until she ran out.. I wished I could take it back, and then I buried the thougth deep in the darkness of my soul.. trying to act as if I didn't care, she was only a girl…

_**(I still press your letters to my lips  
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss  
I couldn't face a life without your light  
But all of that was ripped apart...  
when you refused to fight)**_

I still remember the last letter she wrote to me

_**Dear Severus,**_

_I will miss you dearly, I will remember every kiss we shared.. and all the wonderful moments we had brewing in your lab. I hope you can understand that we cannot be together. I belong to the light side, and you wish to remain to the dark. Know that I will love you always, and that I will regret not being able to be with you. I wish things could have been different. Maybe we would have gotten married, and had children. I guess we'll never know. It's not good to think about what might have been. Just remember that I love you and there will never be another man for me_

_Love Hermione_

_**(So save your breath, I will not hear.  
I think I made it very clear.  
You couldn't hate enough to love.  
Is that supposed to be enough?  
I only wish you weren't my friend.  
Then I could hurt you in the end.  
I never claimed to be a saint...  
My own was banished long ago  
It took the death of hope to let you go)  
**_

I didn't think she meant it when she wrote that letter, I tried to talk to her the next day and she would act as if I wasn't there, but I saw the tears in her eyes. Finally I screamed at her that if she would leave me like this that I would hate her forever! That if I had to I would kill her in the final battle, All the while thinking to myself that if I couldn't have her, then no one could. I was up almost all night thinking about what I had said to her. I hurt her deeply and I saw it in the way she walked away from me.

_**(So break yourself against my stones  
And spit your pity in my soul  
You never needed any help  
You sold me out to save yourself  
And I won't listen to your shame  
You ran away - you're all the same  
Angels lie to keep control...  
My love was punished long ago  
If you still care, don't ever let me know  
If you still care, don't ever let me know...)**_

I searched for her in the final battle. I had one eye on my enemies and one eye looking for her. I didn't find her until near the end, she had just finished off Lucius Malfoy, and now she was coming for me. I just wanted to take her into my arms, and hold onto her for dear life. I didn't want to lose her. But I put on a cold mask, and we started our duel. Bloody hell was she strong! She knocked me down twice, but allowed me to stand up before continuing our duel. Finally I used the_ Cruciatus_, the worst thing I could throw at her. I watched her coldly as she lay on the ground trying to keep from screaming. I held her there for ten seconds and then I let go. She regained her feet quickly, and she was pissed. We dueled a few moments longer, and then I heard the fated curse coming from her sweet lips.

The _Avada Kadavra_, and I knew I would not resist.


End file.
